We like people who like us. When retrospecting, partners recall reciprocal liking and attraction.
We like people who are not uniformly positive, but who are perceived to be discriminating in who they like.
Similarly, we like people who start out more neutral toward us but then become increasingly positive.
Being liked is highly validating, opens the door to future interaction and the possibility of a relationship.
1. Proximity and Situations
2. Individuals' Characteristics
3. Dyadic Interactions
Physical Appearance, Personality, Similarity
We prefer others who are similar to us in beliefs, attitudes, and values. Because similarity:
Validates our own self-worth
Promotes shared activities
Increases confidence, self-esteem
Enhances communication
Increases chances that we will be like in return
What you really want is someone who is similar to you on the dimensions that matter to you. Once you find the similar dimensions, once you find someone who passes the first criterion, then you're willing to tolerate a lot of other dimensions.
Two persons have the capacity to talk to one another, to listen to one another, and to open up opportunities to get to know each other, to share the feelings with one another. And then we learn about the other person as an individual.
There is an exchange of information between two people who create some kind of proximity to one another, who sort of like the other person, or haven't found a reason to dislike the other person.
